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Different

I need to be transparent: tonight I felt really disheartened.

After growing up eating sugar, dairy, pastries and breads full of gluten, sometimes the fact that I can’t anymore makes me want to curl up in the fetal position and just… cry.

Food, in my opinion, is one of the most wonderful and artistic subjects in the whole world; in fact, I was planning to attend pastry school before my body could no longer handle everything that makes a pastry, well… a pastry. Going on nearly eight months of completely eliminating all gluten, dairy, sugar, soy, etc., this new adventure can sometimes be disheartening. Especially since I’m not likely to ever have them again.

Whipping up a cake isn’t the same without white all-purpose flour; frosting isn’t the same without butter and powdered sugar; cookies aren’t the same without a glass of whole milk. The hardest part… trying to not feel like half the cook, half the baker, I was before.

But the truth is: I am no less capable in the kitchen now than I was then. I simply have to use different ingredients and different methods. If anything, I should be proud of myself for taking initiative, for going against the grain and fighting a battle that for me, really hits home. Okay, so maybe dessert doesn’t taste like it used to. Different doesn’t make it bad. It simply makes it- different.

If you’re having to make similar changes in your life, be encouraged.  Try to focus on what you CAN have over what you can’t. There are bigger things out there than not eating a piece of cake or having a glass of milk with your cookie. While I may have my days of sadness (and it’s okay to have those times), I always try to remember how blessed I am. I’ve been given the ability to live a better life through a healthier body.  Would I rather have five minutes of delicious contraband or a life free of pain and full of energy?

When I look at it that way, the answer is very simple: live life to the fullest and give my body what it needs so I can do just that.

Goodnight, all…

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